A very "flighty" Aquaman

From the pages of Justice League of America 09, 2013.

Pick up your jaw, this is from a "different" reality sequence from the latest Justice League of America.  Still, it was fun to see Aquaman fly for once.  He also looks kinda funny, with that trident ahead of him as if it was the Mjolnir, and those disjointed legs aren't doing him any favor.

The Aquaman jokes kinda faded away after Geoff Johns' terrific run in his title gave him a bigger sense of dignity, but we can always have a little fun with him, can't we?

2012: The Superheroes' New Year Resolutions

The Holidays are over and 2012 started with a bang.  At least it did for some superheroes who made some very strong resolutions.  Get to know them!

AQUAMAN

BATGIRL

CAPTAIN ATOM 

MISTER TERRIFIC

VOODOO

WOLVERINE

Aquaman got the fever!

Resenting his teammates for leaving him solo in the latest mission, he discovered his next passion:  music!

Aquaman's Last Story

Image based on Marvel Comics' cover for Heroes For Hire, April 2011.

It was a cloudy and stormy night, but Aquaman was happy like a fish. That is, if fishes can be happy at all since it has been said they're quite stupid.  Swimming through the Seven Seas, the man who could talk to scaly beings was enjoying himself after spending the afternoon having tea at the Hall of Justice, when WHAM! (the sound effect, not the 80's band) he got stuck between a hard place and some sharp teeth.

It was a very short story, but they say these days, readers want resolution pretty fast.

As an afterthought, I will leave you with this idea:  Do you want Aquaman sushi?

The Mystery of the Super-Discs Revealed!

"You're too lame."  "The Power-Puff Girls are cooler than you!"  "So, you talk to the fish?  Bwah-hahaha!"  Aquaman has heard it all, mostly negative, respect has never been on his side and even the Blue Beetle played a few pranks against him.  That's when he decided to take on a new crusade to regain some respect.

"Talking to the fish has never been the issue.  Can you talk to the undersea creatures?  And you call me lame?"  Aquaman told us during a quick interview with an obvious defensive tone.  "I have a cool power but I know someone has been stealing my thunder for ages and it's about time I find out for sure."

It was no mystery for us since we already know where Aquaman "discs" ended up.  We asked Ant-Man about them and this is what he told us.  "Discs?  You mean my telepathic powers to command all kind of insect creatures!"  We nodded in agreement.  "And you say I stole it from Namor?"  We had to clarify a little about which King of the Seas we were talking about.  "These discs belong to me, I never saw a ® in them when I grabbed them.  And so, I claimed and so, they're  mine.  And so, this conversation is over."

The mystery was solved but the copyright issue was still in the air.

"I'm suing his six legs and antennae for this!", yelled Aquaman when he found out.  We wish him luck.

Before we left, we asked the Aquadude about Aqualad and he ran away in tears.


The Ant-Man beautiful black & white portrait was done by Chris Samnee.

Aquaman's Love Affair

They say Aquaman has no sex appeal, no charm, no smarts, he doesn't even have a secret identity. But to a certain Sea-Monkey, he seemed to have it all-- in spades. And we're not talking about Red Lantern Mera, no, this is about a fling Aquaman had deep under the sea, with an extremely sexy Sea-Monkey (or Sea-Monkess, to be politically correct).

Now the question remains, will the result of this hidden union become something more? A new hero? A new villain? A new Aqualad? As far as we know, Aquaman just swam as fast as the Flash to the other side of the continent, glad to be the King of the Seven Seas and even happier knowing his kingdom was so large. We also heard the Sea-Monkess hired a lawyer nicknamed "Black Manta".

Things will certainly turn ugly and we'll be there to get the full story.

Superheroes Decadence - Pt. 2

Continuing with Donald Soffritti's amazing work, these are 7 more images of his Superheroes Decadence collection.

 Aquaman

 Captain America

 Catwoman

 Elektro

 Penguin

 The Thing

 Silver Surfer and Galactus

Advercomics 3: Aquaman Needs Help!

Aquaman can talk to some fish!

From the depths of the ocean comes "Aquaman's Lament". It's heartbreaking yet so so true.

Enjoy!



I first ran into this video over at Comics Make No Sense.

The Blue Beetle's Returned Gift

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

ELF: North Pole Central. What can I do for you?

BLUE BEETLE: I have a complaint about a gift. You work in the Costumer Service department, right?

ELF: Yes, I do. What can I help you with?

BB: I wrote a letter to Santa a couple of weeks before Christmas in which I specifically asked him for a "Life Certificate" and I didn't get any.

ELF: What's your name?

BB: I'm the Blue Beetle.

ELF: Let me see-- Jaime Reyes?

BB: NO!

ELF: Dan Garret?

BB: (DEAD SILENCE)

ELF: Oh, there's another one. Ted Kord.

BB: Yeah, that one.

ELF: You did write a very long letter to Santa--

BB: Yeah, I had to make a point--

ELF: "Certificate" should be written with a "C", not an "S". Not that I care, of course.

BB: Look, I specifically asked Santa for this "Life Certificate" because I'm job hunting and everyone thinks I'm dead. I need proof that I'm alive, but no one believes me.

ELF: This doesn't make much sense. Tell them you're alive and that would be it.

BB: No one believes me.

ELF: You have credibility issues.

BB: Blame that Didiot!

ELF: **giggles**

BB: What?

ELF: He got no presents this year.

BB: Anyway, now that we're on the same page. I got this Mortal Kombat vs DC videogame instead of my certificate and I don't even have a PS3.

ELF: That's a cool game!

BB: I'm not in it!

ELF: But it's still cool. Everyone wants it.

BB: I don't!

ELF: Jeez!

BB: Look, Mr. Customer Service guy, I do really need that certificate. Is there any way I could give you this game back and you--

ELF: There's a crisis out there, Mr. Kord.

BB: Yeah, the Final Crisis, but I hear it kinda sucks. Some like it, though, but it's a divided opinion. Just do some Googling and you'll see. You ask me, I'm not even following it. It's kind of over dramatic and depressing and, well, there's no bwah-haha in it, you know--

ELF: No, a real crisis, as in no money, no jobs, no complaints.

BB: What you mean?

ELF: Santa implemented a new policy this year. We're really sorry but we're doing no refunds this time and gifts aren't exchangeable. We did our best to make everyone happy with their presents--

BB: But this is nothing like what I asked for.

ELF: Any kid would be happy with Mortal Kombat vs. DC, it has Superman, Batman, The Joker. God! It even has Deathstroke. It has the coolest characters.

BB: Deathstroke is dead. I think. Unless I didn't read well that Special--

ELF: I hear they did test the characters before choosing the most popular ones. It's a win-win game. Plus it has the most popular Mortal Kombat characters as well. Sub-Zero is my fab. Everyone loves this game.

BB: I know.

ELF: Then, that would be it. Enjoy your game and Merry Christmas!

BB: Wa-wait! Can I speak to your boss? This is really important. Dead people can be brought back. The Spoiler is back, Hal Jordan is back, even big no-no Barry Allen is back! I mean, "no-no" as in editorial never wanting to bring him back, he's a good guy, a little dull, tough, but a good one. I'm more of a Wally person myself. Look, all I need is five minutes with Santa, he'll understand.

ELF: Mr. Claus is taking a nap. He'll be up in 362 days.

BB: But it's an emergency! I can't wait that long! Look, I know people, I can get you a Madonna autograph, a date with Wonder Woman, a trip to the Batcave, just ask whatever you want. I can even bring you Booster Gold to show you your own birth! I'm in the know, you know.

ELF: Get me a date with the Wasp.

BB: Uh-- well-- Did you read the last issue of Secret Invasion? She's-- uh-- she's kinda dead.

ELF: And so are you. Good evening, Mr. Kord.

BB: Wait! I know an elf, I can introduce you to Nightcrawler-- Hello? Hello?


BB: (TURNING TO THE CAMERA) Ohhhhh, this is so not over! If you think I'm giving up so easily, you're so mistaking me with some loser like Aquaman!

AQUAMAN: Hey!

BB: I mean, my point is that I'm not giving up at all!

AQUAMAN: Show more respect, I'm a King.

BB: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

AQUAMAN: Whatever.

BB: It's just that I want to get a job and this is just so freaking frustrating! I'd kill to be in a TV commercial or something.

AQUAMAN: I've done some.

BB: Are they any good?

AQUAMAN: Well-- Let's have some sushi.

BB: Sushi? Wouldn't that be a little cannibalistic for you?

AQUAMAN: Shut up.

Namor Loves Emma Frost

(Click to enlarge)

Revenge on Aquaman!

He just had it coming--

Continuing with yesterday's "There's One Thing Aquaman is good At!" theme, Comics All Too Real found this:

There Is One Thing Aquaman Is Good At!

Talk to fish? No way!







He's good at dancing!
And it's contagious!



Once again inspired by Michael May's Adventureblog. He's going to start charging me :P

The Creature From the Black Lagoon is Back!

The original images -minus the the text-, were first posted at "Vivir en Tucson".

The Amazing Aquaman Theme Song!

After getting his butt kicked in his latest poll against Namor, Aquaman tries a new strategy to regain his lost audience. He hired Snapper Carr as his new publicist and he's now launching a completely new revamped image with an all-new all-different theme song.

Enjoy!

It's Official: Aquaman Sucks and Namor Kicks Butt!

Comics All Too Real ran this magnificent poll with very humble results, but quite valid if you ask. It's about the quality of the votes, not the quantity-- Or so we keep saying.

Anyway, check out the results:



Now, let's jump into the statistics.



Namor got 64% of the votes, while Aquaman only got 36% of them. Which just proves my hypothesis: Aquaman is real good at sucking. Oh, yes, and Namor is the true King of the Seven Seas --whatever.

Thing is, Aquaman should be portrayed as a non-serious character, which would be simply great. Just think about it for a moment. What was the last you knew about Aquaman? Probably it was a parody and you laughed out loud. Probably a Cartoon Network ad, or just a Youtube parody. Anyway, when was the last time you really enjoyed Aquaman as a serious character? 10 years ago? 20? That's frightening. No, not your age, the fact that Aquaman sucks indeed. You have to agree on this!

Aquaman vs. Namor: Round 2

"Honey, it's not over 'til it's over", said Mera as she winked to her husband's competitor.
So far, Aquaman has been sinking in this poll like dead tuna, and just to make things worse, his wife now joined the battle as the big prize.

"I'm a little bit surprised and all too flattered the judges chose me to participate in this battle. So, the winner takes it all," she giggled. "People doesn't even know I'm dead or alive, so watch out, I'm back!"

As one reporter went all continuity freak on her and another one called her an "attention $%$%$", we better focus on the poll at hand. So, if you haven't voted yet, do it now. The poll closes next Monday in the afternoon, no vote will be accepted after that even if the counter goes on and on. You better hurry!


Get your own Poll!

Aquaman or Namor? Vote now!

Recently, there was a discussion about all undersea characters being fun, lame or whatever you might want to call them; with Aquaman being the poster child of the abuse, lead by Cartoon Network ads, internet blogs or just the casual joke; if you want to laugh at a character, there's always Aquaman. There's no denying this, no matter how hard they've tried to make him relevant, he always ends up being a joke. On the other hand, as Sea of Green of Hoosier Journal of Inanity very cleverly pointed out, Namor has been around since forever and he's always been a real kick-ass! A tough ally, a frightening enemy and also a very interesting lover.

Now, the question remains. Who do you think is cooler? Butt-of-the-joke Aquaman, or bad-ass Namor?

You decide!

(Oh! And I stole the fantastic image of Aquaman and Namor from amazing Michael May's Adventure Blog.)


Get your own Poll!

Water's Bad, Baaaaaad!

There's something about water that makes its characters the butt of the joke. We tried several focus groups with them, particularly Aquaman, and these are the results.

First, we showed them the picture of Batman, and they all went "Woooow!"; we showed them Superman, and they all went "Oooohhhh!; with Wonder Woman they just went breathless; but with Aquaman it was just "ROFL". Literally.

There's something in the water, we say.

This magnificent strip belongs to Lil Formers!

JLA Party!

Click on the images to enlarge.