What if Spider-Man were as sexy as Spider-Woman?

Spidey's in trouble!

As all of his spider-sense were tingling, Spider-Man went into battle with a real bad hunch.

Based on the cover of Ultimate Spider-Man #8.

2012: The Superheroes' New Year Resolutions - Part 3

And here's the third and final part of this Superheroes' Resolution gig.  I hope you like them!

SPIDER-MAN

CABLE

THE INCREDIBLE HULK

HAWKMAN

SWAMP THING

Spider-Perv

Justice League Argentina presents

If you know your geography well, you will know that there's this big country in South America, rich in traditions and history, with a legacy that runs from music and soccer, covering many angles.  Of course, we're talking about Argentina and, as you must definitely know, they do have their own Justice League.  I guess at some point both the Blue Beetle and Booster Gold must have run into it at one moment or another.  Something must have gone wrong that it wasn't published in their magazine diaries--

Anyway, we give you the Justice League Argentina!

Spider-Man de la Plata

Superché

Argent-Man

Linterna Plata

Capitán Argentina

These images were first posted at Comics All Too Real's fanpage in Facebook.  Thanks to "Bruce Wayne" for providing them.

Superheroes Decadence - Pt. 3

Donald Soffritti's set continues with seven amazing images.

Spider-Man

Supergirl

Mr. Fantastic

Mandrake and Lothar

Hulk

Elektra

Dr. Octopus

Super-Heroes get real!

A friend of mine handed me these great pictures and I just had to share them with you, guys! Truth is Super-Heroes were never this political. What do you think?

The original pictures were taken (or photoshoped) by Agan Harahap (alias Toyib) from Yakarta, Indonesia.






You can find the original entry at the "Nicho Creativo" blog.

The Censored Spidey-Yoda-Rose Debate

Long story short. Over at one forum I visit, Cinemania, a poster nicknamed p+2 posted an amazingly funny and smart piece written by him: two dialogues featuring Spider-Man, Yoda and Titanic's Rose. Obviously, I wanted it to be posted in here. Thing is it was deleted by a moderator because that forum can be visited by kids (which doesn't mean it is visited by kids) and the content of the post could harm them for life, I argued about him having 5 centimeters of morality (that's about 2 inches), and from there, hell was let loose.

For your enjoyment, here's the rewritten piece in its entirety. Thanks again to p+2 for that. Hopefully, if a minor reads it, his/her soul won't rot in hell.


Someplace in swampy Dagobah, the phone rings:

Yoda: 1-800-dildooine. Yoda, this is.
Spidey: Master Yoda, will I ever get laid with MJ?
Yoda: Hard to see, the will of the Force is.
Spidey: But could you help me out? Use your Jedi mind tricks on her, perhaps?
Yoda: Only on the weak-minded, they work.
Hannah Montana: Hey, I resent that!
Spidey: Master Yoda, did you just shag Hannah Montana?!?
Yoda: Showed her the power of the Force, I did.
Spidey: You Lolita-loving dirty green muppet! Anyhoo, will you help me?
Yoda: Solve your problem I will, if Viagra you provide me.
Spidey: WTF! Do you use Viagra?!?
Yoda: When 900 years you are, wield your lightsaber as well, you won't.
Spidey: Oh my God. Listening to this is worse than fighting Doc Ock. I'm gone.
Yoda: May the Force be with you.



Painting Lessons

Rose: Master Yoda Vinci, do I really need to take my clothes off?
Yoda: A gentleman, I am. Help you, I will.

::Waves hand, clothes fall off::

Rose: Master Yoda Vinci, you're blushing. I doubt Monsieur Kenobi would have blushed.
Yoda: From the gay side of the Force, he is.

::Camera flash goes off::

Rose: Did you just take my picture naked? Weren't you supposed to paint my portrait?!?
Yoda: Portraits do not make one great. Wank off to your pic, I will. Farewell, mon coeur de la mer.

::Waves non-wanking hand, Rose's ship sinks::

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This post will have moderated comments.

Ha!

Of course not, say what you want!

My Favorite Spider-Man!

Fresh from Montygog's Art-o-rama more fantastic artwork by Dave Perillo!

The Lamented Spider-Man Ballad

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever Quesada wants!
Crisis time any size, stories went just like flies!
Look out! There went the Spider-Man!

Did this happen? Listen, bud, he's got rewritten blood!
Did he marry Mary Jane? Take a look single time!
Hey there! There went the Spider-Man!

In the chill of night, at the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light, he forgot just in time!

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, out of continuity Spider-Man!
Mary Jane she's ignored, action is just no more!
To him, life is like a big clon!
Wherever there's a retcon, you'll find the Spider-Man!!!


Sing along with the original song:



The Spider-Man art belongs to Jonathan Edwards.

Paula and Mary Jane Drunk at the Bronx

It all happened at a loud place in the heart (or the liver) of the Bronx, with a giant bartender that made drinks fly through the place and a lousy waitress that got more tips out of her wiggling than out of her work, that caught our attention. The story could have been about these two very particular creatures of the night, but it was a deeply annoying voice that broke the vibe of the place with twisted words that rang something like this: "He's a cold hearted snake". Feel free to roll your eyes, because it was none other than Paula Abdul, drunk again, this time with a much much way younger drinking buddy, a red headed girl named Mary Jane Watson that could or could not have anything to do with Spider-Man's recent death.

Poor Mary Jane, first she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her, of course, that was before he died; and now she wasn't choosing her friends well at all. But it wouldn't take long, since she refused repeatedly to sing in the karaoke even if Paula insisted on some "Idol" non-sense thing.

Finally, after some outburst on Mary Jane's part, we heard her say "he's not a snake! He's a spider and he would bite in the @$$ if he was here." Definitely, that's our girl. Maybe a criminal, but still our girl.

Spider-Man Dead, Surprising Prime Suspect

A couple of weeks ago, the story of Peter Parker grossly making out with Paris Hilton hit the tabloids with devastating results for poor Mary Jane, former wife. We knew the Peter-Mary Jane love story hit a striking halt in the chronicles of their lives (see Amazing Spider-Man for current events), but it looks like the ultra hot top model still had it for our friendly neighborhood and she just couldn't have him cheat on her, or move on, whatever suits you best. So, what did happen? The body of our arachnid friend was found lying on the floor definitely dead, with his arms and legs upward, like a dead cockroach. The depicted image above is an all-ages dramatization of the event, because the real scene was too disturbing to publish online. Right next to him the police found a jar of Baygon® Crawling Insect Surface Spray. So far, we learned the product does really work.

Now, the surprising part was that one of our sources (yeah, we do have lots and lots of sources) saw a red headed foxy lady run out of the place just minutes before the body was found by the pizza boy, who swears he's not delivering again to any super-hero. Speculation says that the red headed woman was no other than Mary Jane, but with current continuity flips, we just wouldn't know.

Stay tuned as this story continues.

"It was gross!", said Peter Parker

Comics All Too Real's candid camera got this amazing shot of our friendly neighborhood, Peter Parker, when his mouth got stuck in the mouth of a different kind of vermin.

"It was gross!", said Peter Parker to our correspondent in New York City, "she had a foul taste, as if she had just eaten a bunch of rotten flies," and should he know, being himself so related to the spider kind. "It was a one shot thing, though." He finally admitted. His fans are raving already, whether in support of poor Mary Jane, or just because they can't stand Paris Hilton. Oh! And there was one old woman, who raved favoring Paris. Some said it was her mother.

Will this outrageous event lead to some further developments? Stay tuned.