Lady Gaga Loves Kermit

One of our paparazzis got this lucky shot, displaying Lady Gaga's and Kermit's unprecedented love.  So far, Lady Gaga has been accused of zoophilia, which is the practice of sex between humans and animals, but we still don't have proof since this could be just a stunt to gain some more media attention.  We're still checking if this is even legal.  As long as they don't want to get married, we guess they're not breaking any laws.  You know, marriage is a privilege of only a few.

When confronted about their relationship, Lady Gaga just yelled "Leave us alone!"  Of course, we wouldn't stop there, but it was fun to see her struggle. 

We continued with our press-stalking for a few days until we ran into a very discombobulated Lady Gaga (yes, we always wanted to say "discombobulated" in an actual article).  She was broken hearted.  That's when it hit us, they had broken up.  Turns out Kermit was just using her as a rebound girl.

We approached the famous singer very carefully.  "So, we hear the frog likes pork much better."  She broke into a burst of tears and we couldn't get an official statement out of her.  All we got were some rumors about Kermit liking his girls chubbier.  So, it didn't take us by surprise to see him back into the arms of Miss Piggy. 

"I'm really sorry about Gaggy," admitted Kermit with a gesture of sadness drawn in his face, "but she's no Piggy, you know, I just love Piggy so badly."  He seemed sincere and who can blame him?  Piggy may have been found guilty of the AH1N1 disease, but she's a dear.  Just ask her fans.

And the AH1N1 Winner is...

...Miss Piggy!

"I was set up!," was the last thing we heard of her before she was taken into the oven. We did hear some weird Gonzo-like laughter behind when she was being cooked, but so far, we're just guessing.

Now, she can join Kermit the Frog in the afterlife, where he was sent after getting her infectious kiss.

Thanks for helping us decide who was the Pig Zero behind the pandemia. This is the final score:

10 Reasons Why You Should Hate Piglet -and hold him responsible for AH1N1-

10. He doesn't really look like a pig.
9. How on Earth did he got a movie?
8. Piglet shot corny to new heights.
7. His voice doesn't suit him.
6. He cries too much already.
5. If Winnie the Pooh is annoying, Piglet doubles it.
4. Too much pink.
3. Disney is evil.
2. Eating him would be like eating cotton stuffed pork chops.
1. I hate him. (Okay, "hate" is such a strong word, but we can deal with it.)

And just because today we're being mean, here's a full trailer of Piglet's goodies!



This poll will be open until next Thursday. Make sure to cast your vote and then we'll find out which pig is the one responsible for the AH1N1! Stay tuned!


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Babe: Confessions of a Pig

"It wasn't me. I've been with a lot people ever since the first movie and none of them has been ill. This I swear!" These were Babe's exact words when he was asked about him being pig zero when it came down to the Swine Flu pandemia.

"You've been called a 'freak of nature' many times, Mr. Babe. It wouldn't really surprise us that you were up to your neck concerning this very serious health issue." Our reporter said really pushing the envelope, but hey, don't blame him, he wants to work for the National Enquirer. CATR is just step one in his career.

"I'm innocent! I'm innocent!" And two big tears started to pour out of his big eyes. "If anything, I'm guilty of having too many friends. I befriended ducks and gooses and that's when the avian flu was in all its rage. Did I discriminated them back then? Sure I didn't! Because I'm not such a pig!"

"You're saying you're not a pig?"

"I am a pig!"

"Thank you a lot, Mr. Babe, that's exactly what we wanted to hear. You're a pig and everyone will know it!"

If you haven't voted yet, make sure to cast it! This poll will go one until Thursday, when we will find out which pig is the one responsible for the AH1N1! Stay tuned!


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I-I-I-I-I'm not guilty!

As the poll started last Thursday keeps going, we decided to visit another pig suspect of releasing into the world the AH1N1 Pandemia, also known as the Swine Flu. We got into an old fashioned farm and we met this famous pig with a speech problem.

"So," we asked, "there are some serious accusations about you being responsible for the Swine Flu."

"Le-le-le-let's be co-co-co-correct about this. It's called the AH1N1 flu, some just call it H1N1. To name it 'Swine Flu' is hurtful and mis-mis-mis-misleading."

"Uh. We never thought you were of the political kind of pig."

"I-I-I-I've around for quite a whi-whi-while. I just have to stand on my own."

"Anyway, we heard you had the Swine-- the AH1N1 yourself, am I right?"

"I-I-I-I just had the c-c-c-common flu, but my friends didn't take it right."

"Such friends, uh?"

"You just have no clue", and the poor pig looked real bummed down.

"So, you're saying that this pandemia is not your fault-- but the polls are pointing you as one of the toughest candidates."

"Polls?"

"Of course, that's how people decide things these days. If they think you're guilty, then you're guilty."

"Hmph!"

"Anyway, how is this situation affecting your career?"

"W-w-w-well, there's current talk of a remake of this movie hit of mine's, 'Porky's', it was quite the thing in the 80's."

"Uh-- That movie wasn't about you--"

"Of course it was. I was this guy who liked this girl and--"

"Sorry pal, we ran out of time! Th-th-th-that's all folk!"

"H-h-h-h-hey! You're mocking me!"

"Oh, was that politically incorrect?"

Sure we were mocking him! Now, stay tuned for the next interview as we get closer and closer to the end of the Swine Flu poll. And if you haven't voted yet, VOTE NOW!


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Is Miss Piggy Dah Pig?

When faced with the cameras and the microphones, she just said, "No! Just because I'm the most famous pig to ever live, doesn't mean that I'm the one who got the whole pandemia started. Besides, if it was me, I would have called it the 'Blonde Pandemia', or "the Cute Sneeze", you know? This is just so not me."

One of our reporters added: "Mr. Kermit might think otherwise"

And she responded in anger, "I'm not the one that ran the pink truck over him!!!!" Everyone stared at her for quite a while. "Oops"


The poll that got started yesterday will be on until next Thursday. Vote soon, vote now!


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Blame it on the Pig!

The rumor has been out for a while, now. The Swine Flu got spread and, thanks to a quick PR move, pigs were no longer guilty as charged. Another PR move and the entire disease got renamed into some AH1N1 Flu, doing their best to wipe the slate clean, hiding someone's guilt in the process. But we know the truth and now it's up to you to point fingers!

One of these pigs is the one to blame and you decide who it will be. Vote now and let's have some barbecue after party.

The poll will last for a week, starting-- now!


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