2012: The Superheroes' New Year Resolutions

The Holidays are over and 2012 started with a bang.  At least it did for some superheroes who made some very strong resolutions.  Get to know them!

AQUAMAN

BATGIRL

CAPTAIN ATOM 

MISTER TERRIFIC

VOODOO

WOLVERINE

Superheroes Decadence - Pt. 4

Welcome to the last part of Donal Soffritti's set of the "Superheroes Decadence" image collection.  We hope you enjoyed the ride!

Namor, the Submariner

Bizarro

Invisible Girl

The Vulture

Daredevil

 

 Wolverine

Dollhouse Renewed! But What About the Actives?

There is going to be a Season 2 for the Fox TV Show "Dollhouse". People all over the net are jumping in joy asking more and more questions, but it looks like we will have to hold our breath for a few months to find out what we want.

Of course, we're not waiting that long.

We tried to reach Echo, but she was somewhat hibernating. That or she had the personality of a carrot on and she couldn't answer the cellphone. That's what happens when a doll reaches celebrity. It goes directly to their empty airhead.

And speaking of no-brainers, rumors have already started about some changes in the story, more specifically, about the Actives. They need a bigger audience and they will try some new tricks to make their ratings grow. We ran into Barbie and after letting her brag some about beating Bratz (yes, she's still onto that), she let out something that might be a lead for things to come. "I'm a doll and I will be in a house that is not exactly the one I took from Ken after the divorce." She was cryptic, that's for sure, but we think she was reading a script. No way she could have thought all that by herself. Still, the rumor is there. Will Barbie become an Active? She does have the wardrobe to fit, but what about the talent? And, no, her movies don't count.

Following Barbie's statement trail, we reached Ken who seemed to have a new partner in life, someone you might already know because of his recent movie-- "Snikt!" Hmph! We're not allowed to mention the name of this new guy, but we can say he does have a metagene--

"So, Mr. Ken," we asked, "do you know anything about Barbie and Dollhouse?"

"I have no clue about her, but I can say that Joss simply loved me. I tried for a part and I blew him away." We were about to make a funny, but his x-boyfriend looked at us even funnier so we remained shut. That's when we found out we're extremely allergic to Adamantium.

"After playing a lead role in the Barbie movies," we said, "it's reasonable to say that you do have some experience in the acting field; but do you really think you're ready for a Whedon show? As an Active, you should be able to display all kind of roles and personalities."

"Talent is my thing, you know." Said Ken as he combed his hair with his hand. "I acted into loving Barbie for years and I performed greatly. I moved on, of course, but my name is still out there. I'm the most famous masculine doll of the world."

"Yeah, sure, everybody knows you-- There are plenty of jokes about you--" The x-boyfriend gave us that look again and we had to remain quiet. Way to get rid of the fun in the interview. "One thing we do have to admit, Ken, is that you really know how to hook up with the rich and the famous."

"That's my thing." He concluded with a smile which, oddly enough, sparkled like a lighthouse in the room.

Wolverine, President of France

It's not an oax, it's true! Look at Sarkozy, President of France:



Now, mess his hair a little, do a little work on his nails, add sideburns and you have... Bratz Wolverine (as introduced in "The year of the Bratz" article)



And they said Wolverine had been a little overexposed in comic books-- real life is harder, much harder!

And thanks to my dear friend Jean for pointing out the similarities!

The Year of the Bratz

Mattel may say Bratz is over, but celebrities and their plastic surgeons just say otherwise!

Wolverine

Angelina Jolie

Wonder Woman

Tom Cruise

Scarlet Witch

Catwoman

Iron Man

Captain America

Bruce Wayne

Beyonce

Snikt! Australia, the Movie

In 1939, Nicole Kidman travels from England to northern Australia to force her philandering husband to sell his faltering Australian cattle station, Faraway Downs. Her husband sends an independent cattle drover, Logan, to kill her.

The New Year Resolution of the Super-Heroes!

Just like all of us, super-heroes are also quite sensitive about the New Year that's just getting started. Some promises are meant to be broken, but they will do their best to hold onto their New Year Resolutions.

Huntress and Catman

Wolverine

Supergirl

Medussa

Kingdom Come Superman

Spider-Man Noir

Blue Beetle

Hawkeye?

Hawkeye!

Robin

And what's your New Year's Resolution?

The Creature From the Black Lagoon is Back!

The original images -minus the the text-, were first posted at "Vivir en Tucson".

Heroes Must Die: Batman's Last Laugh

Welcome to the second show of "Heroes Must Die". Tonight, our interplanetary most hated extraterrestrial host, Morbo, has a very special guest star: Batman, a superhero that has been shining under the brightest spotlight as of late.

(APPLAUSE)

MORBO: Can you describe to our audience who you really are? Your hopes, your fears, your traumas. There should be plenty.

BATMAN: I'm Batman.

MORBO: That line was old in the 80's.

BATMAN: I don't care.

MORBO: A bat with an attitude, uh? You've been played under very different lights through your career and this monosyllabic attitude version of you is not the most compelling. It makes me hate the human race some more-- Anyway, what's with the Wolverine voice?

BATMAN: That's my voice.

MORBO: Movie viewers pointed your voice as the most blatant flaw in your performance. Are you really sure that's your voice?

BATMAN: I'm always sure. My throat is still sore.

MORBO: You certainly rang different when you were Bruce Wayne.

BATMAN: I play it different.

MORBO: As in two personalities?

BATMAN: Agreed.

MORBO: That's schizophrenia.

BATMAN: It's not.

MORBO: Yes, it is.

BATMAN: It's not.

MORBO: Whatever. By the way, it's been said that the Joker is the real star of the show, that his performance dropped a shadow on you.

BATMAN: I'm always in the dark.

MORBO: Your short sentences get real old real fast. Were your dialogues dumbed down to reach a wider audience?

BATMAN: I'm not dumb, I'm the world's greatest detective.

MORBO: Yeah, I've heard that one before, but you have to admit that the Joker played you for good.

BATMAN: The script was written that way. I have nothing to do with it.

MORBO: Very convenient. So, what's your impression on Katie Holmes not being in this movie sequel?

BATMAN: (With a wide open smile) It was a pleasure not having to work with her. Everything about her drove me nuts. Her torn smile, the lack of acting, the lack of chemistry, she kept playing her character from Dawson's Creek and having her as a lawyer was the most unbelievable role for her. I had to blackmail her husband with some tapes I had about him jumping on a sofa saying he loved a very different actress, so he would tie her down in their basement to reprogram her all over again. A quiet Katie Holmes is always a good Katie Holmes.

MORBO: It looks like you're very opinionated about this talentless actress… I could hand you a death ray to get rid of her.

BATMAN: I'm sworn into protecting human life. But you could take justice into your hands. I don't battle aliens.

MORBO: Okay.

ZAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!

MORBO: You can stop smiling, you know?

Bad Batman, Bad

Batmommy was really upset because Batman supposedly assaulted her and Batgirl with a Batarang and a Shark Repellent Bat Spray.

"Fame went to his head", claimed the Bat Mother as she was throwing some of his son's stuff out of the Batcave and setting a Batman the Dark Knight poster on fire. "I only wanted a couple of millions and that's how he pays me. That two-faced son of mine! Since there's no justice in the world, I'll get my revenge!" We asked her to show us her bruises but she said she was a fast healer much a-la-Wolverine and there was nothing to be seen. That's when we started wondering if she was a mutant.

We tried to ask Robin about this incident but the Boy Wonder just rolled his eyes at us and left.