Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hiro Stopped Time!

Put the blame on Hiro Nakamura!

The infamous time manipulator set us up and stopped time without warning and the result: Comics All Too Real went out of the loop for a while. We could have called it "Technical Difficulties" but it's always better to blame the real guilty party.

Comics All Too Real is back on schedule and our news corporation is suing Hiro Nakamura for damages and audience loss. We're still looking for laws concerning super powers, though--

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Power Girl Out Before Things Got Started

Power Girl didn't make it to America's Next SuperModel and here's the little truth behind her rejection.

PG was confident she would get the part, after all, she's strong, she has just the right attitude when she's had a soft soda and her costume focuses on her biggest assets. You would assume her role in the show was a given-- well, you're wrong, because Tyra Banks, one of the hosts of ANSM, thought otherwise.

"We have to be very careful on what message we're sending to the kids out there", said Tyra with a hint of envy. "This show is about beauty and heroism, not about cosmetic surgery." We asked her if she was certain about her accusations and she concluded. "Power Girl isn't even sure about her own origin! You ask me; she's no role model!"

On her part, Kara was brokenhearted and furious. "These are mine! I didn't buy them! Look at them, they're the ****** of steel for a reason! Look at them!" Apparently, G'Nort looked too much into them, because both of his eyes blackened real fast courtesy to Power Girl's fists. That was our cue to leave.

Monday, September 15, 2008

America's Next SuperModel is on Fiyah!

A big shake-up struck the core of America's Next SuperModel even before the show had a chance to air its premiere. Former hosts, Northstar and the model-turned-alcoholic Mary Jane Watson, got kicked out of the show as Tyra Banks and the Green Lantern Esplanade G'neesmacher, also known as G'Nort, where hired apparently out of the blue to fill the spots.

"We needed hosts who had a stronger appeal to our audience," said producer George Lucas, "and with a Green Lantern in the show, it just can't fail. Oh, yes, and there's also Tyra."

Lucas' new project has been highly critiziced by both the media and fans. Will it be a success? That's up to you, the viewer. The 12 contestants have already been chosen and only one will be America's Next SuperModel!

Friday, September 12, 2008

The Hulk Sneezed the City off Coast City!

The Hulk has allergies just like many people we know, but with gamma ray bombarded allergies you have to be careful, or so were taught the late people of Coast City. That is if deceased can learn a thing. Again.

This city is infamous for being under the protection of one of Earth's Green Lanterns, with such bad luck that it has been targeted by every monster in the block and blown off the face of Earth one time too many.

Yesterday morning, the Hulk was jumping around apparently attracted by all the green in the scenery when something in the air made him sneeze. Two sneezes later, the city was gone.

Oh, we're going to have a real pi$$ed off Hal Jordan when he comes back from his Secret Origin storyline.

Monday, September 1, 2008

10 Girls In, 2 To Go!

10 girls have already made the cut and we still have 2 spots in the open. If you want your favorite in, you have to nominate her. If they go rogue out of scorn because you didn't support them, it will be your entire fault!

So far, these will be the stars of our big premier (in alphabetical order, of course):

Aeon Flux
Emma Bishop (from Crossgen's Ruse)
Giselle (from Crossgen's Mystic)
Red Sonja
Squirrel Girl