Sunday, June 29, 2008

You chose the new Wonder Woman!

We asked you "Who would make a better Wonder Woman" and you decided in this poll that ran for a couple of weeks. These are the results:

The Winner: Liv Tyler: 35%
Jennifer Garner: 20%
Whoopy Goldberg: 15%
Winona Rider and Sandra Oh: 10% each
Hillary Clinton and Donna Troy: 5% each
Gwyneth Paltrow and Cher: 0% each

As we speak, Liv Tyler is headed to Paradise Island to meet her new mom. Let's see how things turn out.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Daily Planet, Daily Bugle, Eat Your Hearts Out!

You heard it first, you heard it here. As many of you already know, the Comics All Too Real venture started like a class project with delusional hopes of acing the concept of a successful blog. Well, guess what? Both the professor and the rest of the class were blown away by the numbers, the worldwide visits, the whole idea, and of course, the journalistic professionalism used to cover all of our stories. We got an A+, or a 100, or a 10, or even the weird 7 used at Chile, all depending on the scale you're used to for grades, all in all, the results are the same: Very Nikely, we just did it!

And good news for you if you enjoy this blog as much as we enjoy working on it: It will keep going. Grades are over now and a whole new era is about to begin, our very own Final Crisis, or Secret Invasion, always with high level quality content we produce at CATR central. So, keep posting your comments, sending your news and images, if you're chosen for an article, full credit goes to you!

The best is yet to come, we have already planned some stuff you might really like, so, stay tuned!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Spider-Man Dead, Surprising Prime Suspect

A couple of weeks ago, the story of Peter Parker grossly making out with Paris Hilton hit the tabloids with devastating results for poor Mary Jane, former wife. We knew the Peter-Mary Jane love story hit a striking halt in the chronicles of their lives (see Amazing Spider-Man for current events), but it looks like the ultra hot top model still had it for our friendly neighborhood and she just couldn't have him cheat on her, or move on, whatever suits you best. So, what did happen? The body of our arachnid friend was found lying on the floor definitely dead, with his arms and legs upward, like a dead cockroach. The depicted image above is an all-ages dramatization of the event, because the real scene was too disturbing to publish online. Right next to him the police found a jar of Baygon® Crawling Insect Surface Spray. So far, we learned the product does really work.

Now, the surprising part was that one of our sources (yeah, we do have lots and lots of sources) saw a red headed foxy lady run out of the place just minutes before the body was found by the pizza boy, who swears he's not delivering again to any super-hero. Speculation says that the red headed woman was no other than Mary Jane, but with current continuity flips, we just wouldn't know.

Stay tuned as this story continues.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Strange Caught in a Millionaire Psychic Scam

As revealed by our Orange County correspondent, Finito, this past weekend the famous, or infamous, Doctor Strange was caught as the leader of a multimillionaire psychic ring fraud. Along with an ancient man who seemed to keep talking in riddles, they convinced old men and women to hand them all of their money in exchange of a glance into the collective consciousness and into future lives. After a highly sophisticated holographic projector, which was used to show fake images to their costumers, imploded right in front of mister M. Jackson's face causing loss of nose and pigment troubles, all sort of Jackson people popped into the room and called in the Avengers (both of them) and the police.

It didn't take long for Strange to be apprehended. He supposedly tried to do some hocus pocus, but later on, he was seen complaining something about his Eye of Agamotto having expired and someone getting sued. We just don't know for sure.

A couple of days later, a new psychic line got launched, 1-800-DOCTORFATE.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Real World: Hulk and Batman Confess

It was about time they spoke their minds out. Some say after this little chat, Batman went to a bar, got drunk, met Tony Stark and they became booze buddies. Some say Hulk just smashed Batman.

Take your best guess ;)

More videos at the side column!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Hulk Smashed Obama

Twelve days ago, at the very moment we launched Comics All Too Real, we let the People decide: If today was Election Day, who would you vote for? The candidates were: the gamma bombarded Incredible Hulk and the all-human Democrat Barack Obama. Did the results surprise anyone? Hardly. We always knew fan favorite blockbuster jade movie star would be at the top of the top job. The results were just like this: Hulk: 77%, Obama: 23%.

Curiously enough, during the voting process a friend of ours, Quaxo, left us with a question that seems fair enough to ask: "Do you think they would have to call it the Green House if the Hulk won?"

Now, here's some food for thoughts.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Lois Lane kicked off Desperate Housewives

A secret source told us that Lois Lane was meant to star in the new season of "Desperate Housewives", but it has been revealed that Teri Hatcher didn't like it that much. Not only Lois was eternally young (please hand us the secret!), but the aging Teri was also discombobulated about the fact that the character SHE played during the "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman" days, got back with a vengeance and now wanted to steal her spotlight.

"One me on the set is one too many", said Teri to a friend as she trampled on a chair and walked over a cat's tail. Some say that she's been playing Susan waaaay too long. "What was she doing in here anyway? One Pullitzer isn't enough for her? Does she have to take everything I have? I could have married Superman if it wasn't for her! Oh, God, I hate her!"

Sources told us that Teri threw a monumental tantrum at the Producer's office, which lead to Lois Lane's contract getting axed. Later on that day, one of the stunt men saw Teri putting a green shiny rock in Lois's Diet Coke. Poor thing.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Ophra, Wonder Woman and sexism

Directly from Orange County, our correspondent Finito sent us this breakthrough news: The famous Oprah Winfrey barged full force against the kind Wonder Woman about her name and other issues. Here's an extract of the show.

"Have you ever realized how sexist it is for you to go out calling yourself Wonder 'Woman'? Couldn't you just call yourself Wonder Person? Who are you representing anyway? Woman kind or humankind?" Diana dodged the ball by saying that in her original tongue, which we assume is Greek, "Woman kind" and "humankind" were just about the same. Then added: "I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I'll talk to my publicist about a possible name change."

And then, Oprah continued. "Anyway. Is it true that most Amazons are lesbians?" Surprised by the newest question, Diana's eyes reddened and had to be comforted by Ophra's heart felt hug that brought tears to many viewers around the world. "I do understand," concluded Oprah with caring words. "By the way, are those real?," she asked pointing at Diana's breasts.

We think some of the footage got deleted because we got no answer to that.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Bush... Assemble?

Sometimes comics are louder than words.
What do you think?

This image was taken from Avengers the Initiative 02, pages 11-12

Everything about Clark Kent’s sex change!

The truth is out. After we found out Clark Kent was secretly Superman (yeah, those glasses didn’t foul us), we started this constant surveillance of this famous reporter. We expected it would have happened on a dark and stormy night, but hey, this is not Batman, so, on a sunny day he just blatantly walked into Metropolis Medical Center and guess what? After a little surgery he got a complete make over. A real extreme make over.

Meet Betty Kent. We’re not sure she will succeed in the journalism field, not with these looks, but who knows. She might end up doing a soap opera or something.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

"It was gross!", said Peter Parker

Comics All Too Real's candid camera got this amazing shot of our friendly neighborhood, Peter Parker, when his mouth got stuck in the mouth of a different kind of vermin.

"It was gross!", said Peter Parker to our correspondent in New York City, "she had a foul taste, as if she had just eaten a bunch of rotten flies," and should he know, being himself so related to the spider kind. "It was a one shot thing, though." He finally admitted. His fans are raving already, whether in support of poor Mary Jane, or just because they can't stand Paris Hilton. Oh! And there was one old woman, who raved favoring Paris. Some said it was her mother.

Will this outrageous event lead to some further developments? Stay tuned.

Dead can dance... or roll

The last time we saw Metron of the New Gods, he got killed by this entity who happened to be the actual embodiment of the Anti-Life Equation and the Source in the penultimate chapter of DC's mini-series "Death of the New Gods". His heart got ripped out and he got left dead floating in empty space.

Then, what is he doing at a retirement house? Could it be that he's just a ghost now and he chose to spend time with those about to depart? Then, why has it been said that he enjoys jello so much? Could it have some sort of relation with the Source?

One of the nurses at the establishment who asked us to withhold her name, said that he had been seen visiting one of the old ladies bedroom at late hours in the night. If so, Metron would be definitely up to something. We'd ask one of his closest friends to confirm or deny this accusation, but, you know, he has no friends.

If this little hidden secret love affair flourishes, we could be nearing an event of cataclysmic proportions, you know a Final Crisis. We'll keep you posted.

If today was election day, who would you vote for?

One is a Democrat running for the Presidency of the United States, the other one is a mountain of muscle and gamma radiation.

What happens when the first black man running for the top job goes against the biggest, greenest and most destructive creature in the whole universe?

Who will be the next President of the United States of America?

Vote for your favorite candidate

Barack Obama, Democrat Party
The Incredible Hulk, Puny Humans Smasher