Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Off With Their Heads!


Meet the Queen of Hearts. She's a sweet woman who owns one fourth of the deck and is devoted to play cricket with her loyal servants. Well, she's sweet most of the time, but she's addicted to her tea and when she doesn't have it in time, or whenever she's upset, or bored, she has this knack for beheading people.

Long time ago, during a diplomatic visit to Paris, she noticed her tea to be a little sour, with not enough sugar and her host, a so-called Marie-Antoinette queen, made a joke about cake that rubbed her the wrong way.

Poor Marie-Antoinette and her husband, a man who came from a very unimaginative lineage with everyone bearing the same name, he was number sixteen, both of them got beheaded in a burst of our Queen of Heart's anger.



Legend says she went to the new world and while she was traveling in her carriage, the chauffeur bumped against a rock, depriving our beloved queen of her beauty sleep, unavoidable making her look less than perfect, a wrinkle took form in her forehead. It's no one's wonder the poor chauffeur got beheaded as well, starting his very own legend in the dark roads.



Time passed by and we got to the 70's. There was a crisis of tea at Wonderland and no one could find the right tea for the Queen of Hearts. Heartbroken and with half her emissaries beheaded, she took it on her own to visit Japan, the wonderful land of tea, to find just the right one. She met a Count, a playful man who thought it would be a good idea to hit on the Queen. She wasn't pleased, not at all. And so, Count Blocken lost his head and, later on, with his head on his arms, he became a sworn enemy of the mecha Mazinger. Some say he never got over his love for the Queen of Hearts; this love affair just went over his head.

The age of the Internet arrived and the Queen finally got broadband. She surfed the web with this unending urge to be entertained and she ran into Comics All Too Real. Realizing this blog was about important people, she read and read in a mix of awe and ego, but she couldn't find a thing about her written within these pages. Once again brokenhearted, she yelled "Off with its head!" And this poor blog lost its head and ran headless like a pre-cooked chicken for a few days. Thankfully, our diplomatic staff made an arrangement with her and we promised her an article devoted to her charms. Our head got brought back and we all had our happy ending.



We shared some tea with the Queen, and realizing she was in a good mood, we showed her this movie starring Mr. Bean. She couldn't stand the guy and now she's going back to England with only one thought in her mind.

We couldn't be more pleased.

8 comments:

Ale said...

Jajaja... quien diría que la señora esta iba a recorrer tanto mundo. Te voy a mandar el retrato de otro de sus amigos que cayo en desgracia.
Saludos Chris

ComicsAllTooReal's Chris said...

Es que la Reina es la Reina. Hace lo que quiere y va donde quiere. Lo único es ese pequeño disgusto que le provoca ciertas cabezas...

Kibita said...

Aish!!! jajajajaja, que bueno que estuvo!! I could not be more pleased that Mr Bean is not going to have a head anymore!! :P ahora te toca hacer uno del conejo blanco!!

L'État c'est moi said...

-Fill in the missing word:

made a joke about cake that RUBBED her the wrong way. :)

-One quarter of the deck? The Joker is really pissed. A headless queen looms in the horizon as the the Cheshire Kitty (king of the) Pride dissolves, leaving only a diabolical grin and a gruesome echo..."Why so serious?".

::Cue in "Another one bites the dust"::

ComicsAllTooReal's Chris said...

Kibita, we're all happy Mr Bean is next :D

L'État c'est toi, you're right, I skipped "rubbed". I hate it when I do that. Thanks for letting me know.

Hmmmm... I should match the Chesshire cat against the Joker...

Jean of Arcadia said...

The Cheshire cat playing poker with the Joker? Chess with Death? Mr Bean marrying the QoH w/ the Joker before they behead him?

Follow the white rabbit arriving in the nick of time to the Batcave, just as a Hieros Gamos ritual of apocalyptic proportions ensues between the Joker, Bats and Robert Langdon?

So many possibilities, so little time...

Sea-of-Green said...

Noooo, don't let her chop off Rowan Atkinson's head! Sure, Mr. Bean is annoying, but Black Adder is hilarious!

ComicsAllTooReal's Chris said...

Heads will roll, that's the nature of the game... what was the game, again? Cricket?

Jean, possibilities are infinite, that's why there's so much material to pick from. And now that I think of it, I love the idea of the white rabbit visiting the Batcave, lol.

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