If you've ever seen Power Girl mad, try eating her yogurt.
Well, that's exactly what Guy Gardner did and he just got a little taste of her fury. Thankfully Animal Man and the spirit of the deceased Red Rocket were around to pick up the pieces.
Truth is Power Girl knew someone had eaten her breakfast and the only clue was a green construct left behind, with evidence obviously pointing towards a Green Lantern. You helped her unveil the truth and the girl with one of the most messed up origins couldn't be more grateful. Guy Gardner, on the other side, as if he hadn't gotten enough, brought the final straw: "Is that time of the month or haven't you been nominated for America's Next SuperModel? Haven't you?"
A new punch rendered him unconscious.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
We got our hands on some private audition tapes for the upcoming America's Next SuperModel and we found Mystique's.
She's a baddie, but we do know how far bad girls can get!
Four girls have already made the cut for the upcoming ANSM. We have 8 spots for grabs. Nominate your favorite superheroine now!
(Thanks to Malakus for the picture of Mystique!)
Monday, August 25, 2008
Aeon Flux just got drafted into the America's Next Supermodel show by Northstar and Mary Jane Watson. She got nominated and now she's in.
Three supergirls have been nominated already, whom else do you into into the show? Speak your mind or be left out!
Friday, August 22, 2008
With flamboyant Northstar and a very drunk Mary Jane at the helm of America's Next Supermodel, the game is on! Only one superheroine will earn the title and she could be your very favorite!
Write in your favorite superheroine before we make the final call. Twelve contestants will make the cut. And all of the glory will belong to just one of them!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Comics All Too Real's staff suspected the truth and we ran a very thorough poll to find out which member of the Justice League of America was lactose intolerant. His name has finally been unveiled: The Flash!
"I can eat real fast and my body processes most of it normally, except for milk. I've tried, but more than once I've had to leave in a hurry. You know, the blur behind me isn't always made of after images of my costume." The Flash blushed a little and tried to lighten the conversation "So, you expect me to die in the current Final Crisis?"
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
When we caught a glimpse of Energizer's upcoming ad campaign announcing their surprising new "mascot", our jaws fell to the floor. The long time mascot of Energizer had been replaced by none other than X-men's arch-nemesis, Magneto.
We spoke to the Pink Bunny's manager and he refused to comment, but we caught certain fluffly creature yelling at him from one of the other rooms.
At the same time, we reached Magneto who seemed so full of himself. He has no representative since he does all of his managing on his own and he said that this was his first step into gaining some positive awareness among the public. "I've been depicted under a very bad light as of late and that is about to change. Mutants and homoinferiors alike will see me as the powerful being I am. Today Energizer, tomorrow the wor… tomorrow some other product." We were about to comment on his last dubious words, but all of sudden all of our magnetic equipment stopped working.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Our press conference room got the about Thor, getting inspired in TV shows such as America's Next Top Model and Extreme Make-over, decided to do a full transformation of his looks. To say it was uninspired was the least of his problems. Fans are already protesting and some of them are already asking Aquaman to let his hair grow.
Marvel executives are discussing a potential lawsuit since Thor's contract established that he couldn't change looks without the supervision of the established staff. "We have a movie in progress and we can't confuse fandom with such a drastic change," said Thor's manager, "I mean, it's like Lindsay Lohan dying her hair blonde. It just won't work."
We tried to have Thor's comments on this issue, but he threw Mjolnir at us and crashed our cameras and cameramen as well, which comes as no surprise since Gods are known for their bad temper. We're considering a lawsuit as well, but we fear we might rot in hell or whatever Nordic Gods believe in, if we go against him.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Welcome to the second show of "Heroes Must Die". Tonight, our interplanetary most hated extraterrestrial host, Morbo, has a very special guest star: Batman, a superhero that has been shining under the brightest spotlight as of late.
MORBO: Can you describe to our audience who you really are? Your hopes, your fears, your traumas. There should be plenty.
BATMAN: I'm Batman.
MORBO: That line was old in the 80's.
BATMAN: I don't care.
MORBO: A bat with an attitude, uh? You've been played under very different lights through your career and this monosyllabic attitude version of you is not the most compelling. It makes me hate the human race some more-- Anyway, what's with the Wolverine voice?
BATMAN: That's my voice.
MORBO: Movie viewers pointed your voice as the most blatant flaw in your performance. Are you really sure that's your voice?
BATMAN: I'm always sure. My throat is still sore.
MORBO: You certainly rang different when you were Bruce Wayne.
BATMAN: I play it different.
MORBO: As in two personalities?
MORBO: That's schizophrenia.
BATMAN: It's not.
MORBO: Yes, it is.
BATMAN: It's not.
MORBO: Whatever. By the way, it's been said that the Joker is the real star of the show, that his performance dropped a shadow on you.
BATMAN: I'm always in the dark.
MORBO: Your short sentences get real old real fast. Were your dialogues dumbed down to reach a wider audience?
BATMAN: I'm not dumb, I'm the world's greatest detective.
MORBO: Yeah, I've heard that one before, but you have to admit that the Joker played you for good.
BATMAN: The script was written that way. I have nothing to do with it.
MORBO: Very convenient. So, what's your impression on Katie Holmes not being in this movie sequel?
BATMAN: (With a wide open smile) It was a pleasure not having to work with her. Everything about her drove me nuts. Her torn smile, the lack of acting, the lack of chemistry, she kept playing her character from Dawson's Creek and having her as a lawyer was the most unbelievable role for her. I had to blackmail her husband with some tapes I had about him jumping on a sofa saying he loved a very different actress, so he would tie her down in their basement to reprogram her all over again. A quiet Katie Holmes is always a good Katie Holmes.
MORBO: It looks like you're very opinionated about this talentless actress… I could hand you a death ray to get rid of her.
BATMAN: I'm sworn into protecting human life. But you could take justice into your hands. I don't battle aliens.
MORBO: You can stop smiling, you know?
Sunday, August 3, 2008
"Who ate my yogurt?," yelled Power Girl one morning in the War Room of the Hall of Justice, just as the meeting was about to begin. "The can was open, outside of the fridge and it even had a roach inside!" To say that PG was extra pissed would be the understatement of the year.
"CoughcoughGreenLanterncough!," said a coughing Vixen.
Power Girl's baby blues turned into red hot furnaces as she stared at the four suspects in the room. Who was the yogurt stealer? You decide!
(This post is dedicated to my pals from Hoosier journal of inanity and Green Lantern Butt's FOREVER!)
Get your own Poll!