Friday, November 28, 2008
Blue Beetle's Job Interview
BLUE BEETLE: Blue Beetle.
I: Jaime Reyes?
BB: No, not him. Ted Kord. >:(
I: You're supposed to be dead.
BB: Ma'am, this is comic books we're talking about. I can be back from the dead whenever that Didiot says so.
I: Excuse me?
BB: Didio. I meant Mr. Didio-- Darn Freudian slip--
I: You already got fired by the company. Why should we hire you again?
BB: For once, the new Blue Beetle book just got axed. Obviously the public is claiming for me. Not some random kid with an extraterrestrial bug in his back. They want the original thing.
I: You're not the "original thing". You're Blue Beetle number 2.
BB: You don't have to be so picky. To many fans I'm the ONLY Blue Beetle there will ever be.
I: Did they support you when you were alive? Your solo series didn't last long.
BB: That's because my part in the Justice League book was huge. That one was kinda my book, you know.
I: No, it wasn't.
BB: Well, I did get back in shape. Look at my stomach. Funny tummy no more!
I: I can't see the abs.
BB: They're here. Look.
I: There's no abs.
BB: All I need is a quick plastic surgery. I can do it in no time and be ready for work. We live in the age of Nip Tuck, you know, bwa-hahaha!
BB: I mean, it's not as if you have to give me my own monthly right away. You can hand me a mini-series, the Year One treatment! I mean, even Ambush Bug got one. Or you can get me back in the Justice League to warm things up a little.
I: The Justice League is a serious book.
BB: I can be deadly serious! I'm like Batman, only in blue.
I: You're not.
BB: Ma'am, please! Cut me some slack! My pals really miss me. And it's not as if a quick guest starring in Booster Gold's book was enough. People want more. Look. Batman is gone all R.I.P. right now, who's going to fill his shoes now?
I: (Deadly stare).
BB: Okay, okay, I might be aiming too high, but I do have fans.
I: Name one.
BB: Booster Gold.
I: He doesn't count. He's a glitch in time and continuity.
BB: Well, Wonder Woman. She always had a thing for me, you know XD
I: Pity doesn't count.
BB: Oh, my freaking God! You're making this real hard for me. Is there no soul within you.
I: This is business, Mr. Kord. If you didn't succeed when you were alive, we'll just use you as dead stock in the Cameo Department. It did work for Hal Jordan, Olliver Queen and all of those heroes that were dead for a while.
BB: It's not fair! I want to live!
I: I'm sorry, Mr. Kord.
BB: I hope a red storm of Final Crisis clouds multiplied by Anti-Life Equation falls on top of you and destroy all of your 52 parallel-selves!
I: Your such a geek. Next!