Saturday, May 2, 2009

Green Flash: The Fastest ____ Alive


Barry Allen, a police scientist (yeah, the forensic guy if you watch too much C.S.I.), was working overnight with one of his tricky cases, you know, corpses, finger prints, hamburgers; when lightning started to rumble through the sky and rain hit strongly Central City. Barry, as usual, wouldn’t let the weather disturb his investigation and he paid little to no attention to the ruckus going outside. Bad choice, good choice, you name it.

An MSN window opened in his computer; it was Wally, his girlfriend's annoying nephew.

"Barry! Barry! Do you see the lightning storm?"

"I'm busy. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"It's global warming!"

"No, Wally, it's a storm."

"It's not!"

"It is!"

And before Wally could say anything else, Barry blocked the kid's ID. "I should have done this ages ago," he thought and expected Iris, his girlfriend, to call anytime asking him why he was so mean to her nephew. Barry continued with his investigation and absentmindedly walked near to a shelf filled with chemicals. That's when fate hit him hard in the form of a lightning, as an electric bolt ran through the window, crashed against the chemicals and dropped them all over him. Bathed in all kind of weird substances, Barry fell on top of his desk, splattering the hamburger and landing on the floor. Strangely enough, a piece of lettuce got stuck on his face. He tried to get rid of it when-- "Ouch! Ouch!" He had barely grabbed the lettuce when he noticed there were glasses all over the place and he had cut his hand. For a moment there, the lettuce and his blood became one--

A little dizzy because of the green fumes, he laid back again. Making an effort to regain his eyesight, he saw a green cloud that spoke to him. Yeah, it did talk. "You must protect the green," it said. Barry blinked several times and he saw the cloud taking the form of Al Gore's head. "Be a green leader, save the world," Barry couldn't believe it. The chemical cloud was so alive. He tried to touch it, but his hand passed right through it. And so, with a wink, the Al Gore vision was gone.

You can imagine what happened next. Speed powers. The Green SpeedForce. Wally getting his nose into everything. The legacy thing. Life, death, life again. Thing is, from that day on, whenever Barry Allen presses the secret mechanism hidden in his ring, the green lightning costume pops out and he becomes the Green Flash, a super-hero sworn to protect the environment for the generations to come. Watch out Green Lantern and Green Arrow! This one is the real green thing! Meet Green Flash: The Fastest Environmentalist Alive!

6 comments:

DiegoDNM said...

Yo creo que Flash Rebirth solo puede desencadenar la Fastest Night. Eso es así y nadie va a cambiarlo. Sí, podría escribir esto mismo en inglés sin problema alguno. Pero es que sabiendo que me entiendes igual vagueo más.

ComicsAllTooReal's Chris said...

No te preocupes, Diego, la mitad de los que me leen son entre españoles y latinos, así que no hay problema, jeje.

Y eso del Fastest Night está interesante... tal vez le dé un follow-up a este artículo.

Sea-of-Green said...

But ... but ... Barry looks TERRIBLE in green. It makes him look jaundiced!

ComicsAllTooReal's Chris said...

I had to look "jaundiced" up in the dictionary, but yeah, you're right, green doesn't suit him well. Looks like you're back into being Sea of Green, uh?, was Sky of Blue too ethereal?

Kibita said...

Esto solo me recuerda a TBBT y los trajes de Flash :P, verde no es un tan mal color pero rojo... That makes you stand out in the crowd;)

ComicsAllTooReal's Chris said...

Ah! Pero verde Y AJUSTADO, debe contar para algo.

Claro, tampoco le cambiaría el color. Rojo le luce.

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